Monster Mail Orders from Captain Company!

Like most normal boomer kids of the 1960's, we grew up lusting over the mail order offerings afforded by Captain Company in the back pages of Forrest J. Ackerman and James Warren's Famous Monsters of Filmland magazine! The fact that the ads were riddled with hyperbole and that the prices pretty much resembled a king's ransom to their intended audience of 12-year-old consumers did little to diminish the allure of these products! After all, what self-respecting Monster Kid wouldn't aspire to own "3 Very Important Collector's Films," or fail to see the necessity of securing "The Weirdest 8mm Movie Ever Made!"? And, of course, all of us scholarly Monster Kids just knew that Uncle Forry hadn't really meant to imply that Max Schrek (pictured as Nosferatu) had actually appeared in The Cabinet of Dr. Caligari!...

Of course, film ownership demanded the tandem necessity of a film projector to properly enjoy one's acquisition. And Captain Company had you covered, offering no less than three 8mm projector models for your consideration!

At first glance, the ad to the left might have seemed like the obvious choice:  an 8mm projector PLUS Lon Chaney ("Mr. Monster" himself!) in "The Most Frightening Horror Movie Scene Ever Made!" for just under $12 bucks (before the Captain's obligatory "handling" fees)! However, you might have incurred a red flag when you read that the $4.95 Phantom movie was only 50-feet in length (and similar "headline" editions cost only $1.95 to $2.25 back in the day, even if they didn't rate as being the "most frightening" scene ever!). Or maybe the real deal breaker here was that the fact that the $6.95 projector was hand-cranked (no motor!) and the lamp was powered by flashlight batteries!

No, in the final analysis, the most worthy considerations were the "100% electric!" $9.98 unit ("not a toy, but a high-quality, precision projector!") or, that cadillac of all Captain Company projector offerings, the top-of-the-line $29.95 full-featured Thunderbird model!...

Although the $10 price sticker of the Fantastic Low-Cost 8mm Movie Projector was mighty tempting, we see that this unit was limited to showing maximum capacity 50-foot reels. The "showman" in our 12 year-old collector's heart aspired to the robust 200-ft. reel capacity of the mighty Thunderbird! Besides, we harbored secret ambitions to eventually acquire that dual 200-ft. reeler, The Human Monster, and breathlessly exclaim: "Bela! Bela! At Last We Have You On Film!"...

Of course, Captain Company knew of the deep, dark secret that enticed all us Monster Kids: that we all fell prey to the allure of "gorilla exploitation"! In other words, when stricken with this unique brand of "jungle fever," we were perilously susceptible to purchasing the likes of "Jungle Witch" (Nabonga) or "Blonde Gorilla" (White Pongo), when cooler heads might have opted for the likes of The Lost World (or even the Invisible Woman)!

It was the editors of DC comics that noted the inclusion of a gorilla on the cover of any of their periodicals of that era (no matter how incongruous), drove sales up appreciably for that issue -- a phenomenon that was seemingly not lost on Messrs. Warren and Ackerman at Captain Company, either!

The most blatant example of Captain Company's affinity for gorilla exploitation was their perennial offering of Killer Gorilla! Despite the Captain Co.'s claim that it was "truly a classic of the motion picture screen," this Castle Films title proved not to be an extract from some conventional Hollywood production, but rather a "newsreel" offering of some sort.

At this point, we feel the necessity to clarify that all Monster Kids prefer their gorillas to be either men in monkey suits (a la Crash Corrigan), or stop motion puppets (a la Willis O'Brien). In no wise, do they particularly care for real gorillas, especially the grisly spectacle of one being felled by a mortal gunshot wound to the gut and its carcass being manipulated like a giant puppet by hunter tribesmen! More disturbing (by far) than King Kong's demise from the Empire State building -- it's a real mystery how this title endured for so many years in the Captain Company inventory!

We leave you with this quote from the "CEO" of Captain Company, James Warren:

"I remember as a kid how much I loved the old Johnson-Smith mail order catalog. I loved sending away for things—loved it. I thought, 'I'm going to find the items that appeal to me. I know I'm 29 but I also know I'm a supreme case of retarded development, so I can think down to an 11-year-old, and I know what I would like if I were 11...

"So I spent a lot of time—a couple of months—searching for things I thought would be right for our audience. FM was a horror/monster magazine, so I looked for the horror/ monster items they couldn't readily find or see in their local stores—the monster nails, Frankenstein mask, Horrible Herman in the box, spy camera, shrunken head, the Venus Flytrap...

"Stephen King, Stevie Spielberg, Georgie Lucas —here they are!...

"And please enclose 25¢ for postage and handling."

Jedi Master Film Handler, Janice, from the 8mm Forum, was gracious enough to share her video review of the Brumberger 1503, which appears to be an exact doppelgänger of Captain Company's "Thunderbird" unit! She states that the Brumberger company hailed from Brooklyn, which was certainly within the stomping grounds of Famous Monsters of Filmland in NYC (if not the actual Captain Company site in Philly)!

Thanks for your Jedi insight, Janet!